Quick Answer: You Can’t.
Now that isn’t very encouraging is it!
There is probably no more sacred of a promise or a vow than that of a husband and wife pledging to be faithful to one another and probably nothing that hurts more than breaking that promise. How can you trust someone that breaks the most sacred of vows that were made before God and witnesses? I mean if a vow like that is broken by someone that allegedly loves you how can you ever trust him at all, with any part of your life? Right?
Well, back to the quick answer. If you are a believer in the saving power of Jesus Christ like I am, then there is a path for renewed trust. I just happen to only work with Christians because they seem to be the only ones who are referred or come to us to get some help. I know there are a lot of secular counselors that understand sexual addiction and I’ve heard them speak about how addictive internet porn is and how a person as young as 9 years old can become instantly addictive. So, I know that people who aren’t Christians are concerned, I just haven’t had the opportunity to mentor or meet any that want to recovery. Probably because I hang around Christian groups and the Christian recovery community.
So, the deal is, you can’t trust your husband but you can trust God. People will always disappoint you. The Bible says that the heart is deceptive and if you read the New Testament you will see that Jesus loved people but he basically knew they couldn’t be trusted either but that didn’t stop him from pursuing them…Peter for instance after he had denied Christ.
We all need to develop a trust in God above all other relationships. Then as a betrayed spouse, once you trust God for everything, then God is the one in charge of your husband’s recovery, not you and not him, but God. God can be trusted to do what needs to be done in your marriage to bring your husband to that point of true repentance and the hard work of long term recovery. If you can trust that to God, then eventually you will be able to trust your husband again, because of his dependence on God.
So, you can’t trust him, but you can trust Him to lead you to trust him…Make sense? If you would like to ask my wife about this, contact her through our website at www.heartwords.org
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So are you recommending that women pray for guidance when their husband strays or just turn to God and leave their husband?
To answer your question should wives pray for guideance, Yes. turn to god and leave there husband? Yes turn to God, leaving their husband depends on his desire to repent and recover, how serious the offense is, whether she can all ow him to stay, and separations and even divorces are not permanent or don’t have to be but are tools to save the marriage in the long run.